This is a real interpersonal conflict that happened to me.
I had just become the Publicity Head of Chemical and Environmental Engineering Students' Society (ChESS) and I had to design a poster for the first event, the distribution of examination welfare packs to the students. After receiving instructions from the Welfare Head on what to include in the poster, I happily designed it and sent it to her.
The poster was to be mass-emailed the next day as the event was just a few days away. During that week I had 3 upcoming tests and I was very busy, tired, stressed out and only too glad to be done with the poster.
To my chagrin, upon receiving my poster, the Welfare Head smsed me to tell me that I had forgotten to include the detail, "For Chemical and Environmental Engineering Students Only" and asked me to redo the poster. I was shocked! I did not recall that she had asked me to write that in. I had perused her instructions very carefully and I did not remember this line.
Irritably I replied her and told her that she could not expect me to re-edit the poster if it was her negligence. In fact, it was written in the rules for poster request to publicity: if the details were not properly given beforehand due to negligence, the publicity committee reserved the right not to redo the poster.
Unfortunately the Welfare Head was furious. She smsed me back and scolded me for many messages, saying how it had been my negligence and it was sheer audacity for me to accuse her of that, and how I would get into trouble if I did not redo the poster at once.
If you were in my shoes, what would you do to defuse the situation?
4 comments:
Hi Yun Nian, you must have felt very terrible at that moment. I would first gather the facts in deciding what my next course of actions would be. Was there any form of miscommunication or did any piece of information went missing in the communication process? I would read and check the information on my emails and text messages again.
After checking, there could be two scenarios, the first one would be the information was really not included in any communication and the second one would be that i missed out this information due to my negligence.
For the first scenario, i would re-do and add in that detail, "For Chemical and Environmental Engineering Students Only" into the poster and sent it back to her. However, in the email, i would clarify myself, saying that although this piece of information was left out and i reserve the right not to redo the poster, i have did it anyway and assert firmly that all details should be included in the following assignments and should they fail to do so, re-doing the poster would not fall under your responsibility again. This would make you look professional in your working attitude and most probably, they would double check on their information in the following assignments before sending you again.
But, if it was due to my own negligence, there would not have been much to say other than apologizing for not including that detail and redo the poster. At the same time, assure them that you would not repeat the mistake again.
I think in both situations, a win-win solution would be possible.
Cheers,
Chong Guan
Anger is a reaction, staying angry is a choice. Knowing that these negative feelings of irritation and anger would only bring harm to me, especially during a stressful period, I would first calm myself, regain my composure and be more objective about the situation.
In this case, I have assumed that I have in “black and white” on email or any useful evidence that the Welfare Head did not instruct me on including the additional detail.
First and foremost, I would put rules and my other work commitments aside, but see this in the perspective of a Publicity Head. I would do a quick analysis of the pros and cons of including that additional detail. I would ask myself questions if that detail is critical, whether there is an alternative method that could save time but yet be equally effective etc.
After which, I would give her a telephone call to apologise for my strong reactions. I would then propose to her any alternatives. If it’s really critical and there isn’t any other alternative, I would include the detail into the poster. Thereafter, I would forward a copy of the “black and white” evidence to her. Then I would explain to her nicely that I did this as a responsibility of the Publicity Head, despite my time constraints and the stipulated rules. I would then express that I hope a similar incident would not happen in future.
hi Yun Nian, I can understand how frustrating it can be having to deal with this issue when you are already so tired.
The ideal situation would have been to plan to do this in advance so that these things wouldn't clash but sometimes situations like this do happen.
I agree with Brandon to have the 'black and white' as evidence should there be a need to settle the dispute. Because you mentioned that you perused her instructions very carefully. Nevertheless, my reply upon the additional request would not be in a tone to accuse her negligence. Instead I will phrase it saying that you checked the instructions and it was not inside. But since it is a small task, I would do it but inform them that it a favour I am doing for them.
That way, it will prevent future assumptions that last minute changes are entertained.
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